Bright Morning Star

Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death. Song of Solomon 8:6

Sundays are usually a time for me to reflect on the past week. As I am in the throes of living in a new country, more often than not it is also a time for me to experience fellowship with my Polish family and the new friends I have made here. Even though weekends are usually filled with the presence of others, I feel that these times very much influence my own 'quiet time' at the end of the week. I am able to put into perspective alot of things.

For the past  two Sundays I have had the privilege to attend an international church with another American au pair. Knowing I had an opportunity of attending before I came was a joy, and now that I can finally see and experience this church in the flesh. In many ways it wasn't what I expected, and than in other ways it is also what I think I needed to experience. So much of this new adventure is feeling God here and seeing Him lead me to different people and finding new revelations in my life and the life I will lead later. The thing that amazes me with this church is it is constantly growing, but never with the same people. Being an international church, open to people of any denomination or age, it serves as a haven to those who come and go in this city. Many are students who are merely staying to finish their degree or on study abroad, others are missionaries with their families who are here for an allotted number of years before moving to another place. They hold church service every Sunday in a rented room in the Sheraton Hotel and also have a Bible study group on Tuesdays geared for university students at a local coffee shop. There is so much love here in this church to share with the people here the joy and happiness that Christ brings.

I have to say my first Sunday at this church was a disappointment, and I wanted it not to be for so many reasons. I wanted to find a place that would snatch a piece of my heart and that I felt like I belonged to. I wanted to find joy in the people that believed the same thing I did and to feel the love in that place. That's not to say I didn't feel some of those things here. I did, but not as deeply as I had hoped. Today was much better, and I think I came to understand more of what the church had for me, and, most importantly, what God's plan was for me with this church.

It is so hard to find a church that you feel is home to you and that you connect with on a spiritual and personal level, and the older I get and the more spiritually I grow I am reminded of that very fact--a good church is hard to find. When I was in England I felt that connection and it made me sad that I would never be there for long periods of time to stay there and benefit from those congregations and worship services. I suddenly knew what it felt like to only have short glimpses of a group of people that felt God as I myself did. Even if I knew I would be back it still made me wish that wherever I went I would always find that. God, however, had a different plan. I think he brought me to this international church to experience what it feels like to be in a church where God is so heavily abundant, but where the emphasis is helping introduce Him to those new lambs. There is of course that sole foundation of church missionaries and leaders who have that spiritual understanding of who God is and what He can do for our lives, but in just two Sundays I saw the need for this church to grow not in numbers, but in strength of knowing and accepting who He is and how to develop that relationship with Him. Maybe I don't know the church well enough to know where they are spiritually, but I know that in other places I have felt more joy from worship, and really connected with much deeper sermons about who God is and what He expects and has done for us. This to me felt too 'introductory' and broad, but I think God wanted me to experience this to perhaps humble me on where I am now and where I used to be many years ago. Perhaps part of my part here is to help contribute to sharing my growth and helping someone else grow--perhaps at this very church. I don't yet know my part, but I think I will soon. I plan on attending more, because I think I need it and that somehow God needs me here too--because God is love.

Lastly, I feel that my new found friendships have been blessings to me in every way. I could not have imagined the support I have been given here, and how genuine these girls have made me feel in connecting with the city and getting acquainted. I may have alluded to that already, but they continue to amaze me. It's nice to have that and more so than any other time, I believe that God's love is so big right now and that He is taking care of me in every shape and form.