Make me an instrument... a pleasing thing for you

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

The past week has been as I hoped it would be since my last entry. I have several decisions that I am currently trying to process, and a whole lot of excitement and uncertainty as to what they hold. Despite that God has always been constant and the only thing to hold onto. Faith. This past week I've done a ton of prayer, and allot of thought. But most of all I am pleased that new things are on the horizon and that I have a way to explore new paths in my life and progress toward newer and better things.

Since my last entry I have had more positive feelings towards the au pairing offer. This is largely due to several things that have come to my attention concerning the whole ordeal.

1. The large response I have received to au pair in such a short amount of time.  I am blown away at this and yet realize it is God's way of telling me that teaching English is something I not only want to do, but was also meant to do. 
2. The overwhelming response from families overseas. (One a very frequent few have been from my own country!) I really think this is God speaking to me, because I remember thinking when I came back from Study Abroad 3 years ago that I really felt connected to being and living over there. I began to think of it as home, and it was for a short period of time. In other words, I felt my calling was to countries other than my own. I thank God for that opportunity. 
3. The opportunity to travel and experience new people.You can learn so much from other cultures and countries and I think it makes me wiser for actually being immersed in their life. It makes me understand them and the world more. 
4. Perhaps I can work toward establishing a place of my own by taking this tiny step at moving out of the home base. 

I consider these great things to be considered and that God is working to create an awesome story for me to live. I am also grateful that He has been speaking to me about my future. I am amazed at how beautiful His plan for me is and how He has continued to show me of how little I know and how much I have to learn.

You can say I have really been listening to what God wants in my life as an adult--how He wants me to be, act, and be an influential light to those around me. I also see it, as listed above, as a way to push myself toward moving out of the nest (something I long to do, as does every child at a certain age). However, I am also learning that this may be something tough to handle for my parents, and I think God has shown me what it will be like for my parents to have to go through with my leaving. I understand that seeing me, their firstborn, out on her own in the real world will be something new to them--something not only wonderful but also frightening. I feel so ready, and yet I want them to be ready to. This all resulted in a nice daddy/daughter chat with Dad, just the two of us. I tried to be careful how I put things, and to make him understand that I was ultimately trying to pursue the life that God is wanting me to lead. I think he understands but not without some sadness at seeing the inevitable knowledge of his daughter leaving the nest very soon. Maybe it is a learning experience for them too. I have to bring myself to remember to keep this in mind. Parents always want the best for their children and work at making and molding them into capable beings to stand on their own. I thank my parents for the hard work and love they put into my upbringing. It is exactly what has made me so strong and ready to pursue going out on my own, as well as my sense of calling.

Decision wise I have pretty much made up my mind that this is what I am supposed to do and that I can't pass up this opportunity. So my game plan for the next few weeks? While I am still waiting to hear about the first au pair offer (and have a very strong suspicion that I will get the job), I have decided to also go through with the second au pair family as well and am waiting for the weekend to officially break the news to them. I hope to hear news from the other family very soon. If all goes well with both families I will have a few months with the first, Christmas holiday break, and then off to the next family for about a year.

I have to tell you I feel so happy and excited! I am so ready to do something fresh and new, but above all I am humbled at being able to serve my Saviour and use my gifts for his glory. Just the thought is joyful. 

I pray that I will know more soon. Waiting is almost as bad as knowing!