Being... green?

Peak District, England. Isn't it pretty? :)

Today I find myself thinking of things I would like to do. Simple things like being 'more green'. I have always despised that term. It makes me think of being too much of a hippie, or an environmentalist. I don't get into those kinds of things (Sorry I don't mean to offend), however, I think the term lends itself to something that we should pay more attention to without being too political or crazy. Let me explain :)

 One such thing I would like to is to have a clothes line outside. Not only would this save energy in the summer by taking advantage of the lovely hot weather and bright sunshine, but there is just something refreshing about fresh, clean clothes on the line. Call it old fashioned but I miss seeing it so much in England. They use them everywhere and it made me think how practical it is if you have the right amount of space and sun.

Another said 'being green' idea I brought back from England was the idea of composting. Now this more useful if you have a use of it, like if you have a garden. I'll get to that later. ;) I loved how they saved things like egg shells, fruit and vegetable peels and coffee grounds. I remember as a child I started a compost pile once. It was fun to ask the family to save me things that they normally just threw away. I understand waste more so now that I have grown up. Americans can be so darn wasteful! It truly is saddening sometimes, but this one simple thing of saving to reuse was something that made me think how wonderful and yet simple. It's the little things in life, you know?

I <3 gardens. I think in the past few months or years I have come to this conclusion. Homegrown food is just the way to go and I think there is some comfort and pride in harvesting something you worked so hard to grow. And yes my ever growing love of cooking has also made me love gardens alot more too. Unfortunately our land has never been growing material--this Georgia red clay is truly a curse--but my grandparents have always had a large garden and every summer we come home with bags and bags of fresh tomatoes, corn, peppers, okra, and squash. Someday I wish to have my very own garden choc full of yummy veggies, herbs, and maybe some fruit bushes and trees. The only thing I wish I knew how to do or to explore more is canning. That will definitely be a must!

All this say, getting in touch with what our grandparents and great-grandparents knew about raising food and saving things is something I truly admire and wish to get closer to. After all it means so much more when you cultivate and do these things yourself. I for one think so anyway.

Of squashes and time...

Since graduating I feel that I have begun to explore my life in depth. No longer are my days and nights filled with homework, lectures, rehearsals and studying. I feel that I am able to actually use my time for simple life things that aren't consuming me or making me feel that I have too much routine. That is a word I am starting to hope I never have too much of.. Routine! What I hope for myself is to not become boring and ordinary. Does life really become like this? I hope not! I want to be free and enjoy doing new things while enjoying things I have always done too. There has to be balance. I finally feel like I have time for some of my loves. Actual time to delve into them and broaden them in so many ways. 

I love to cook. Perhaps I should have gone to cooking school and become a chef. Right now I am so happy spending the entire day in the kitchen slicing, stirring, baking, and of course seeing the beautiful results. Taste is always good too, but call me crazy I just like to make it! I feel that since I have come back from Europe and am finished with school that I have become more in tune with ingredients and foods that I have come to love and never had much before (or never). I have become what I like to call a foodie but I consider this to be a very good thing. Think of all the smiles that come from people tasting it. Right now my obsession is with squashes. Acorn, butternut, spaghetti, pumpkin, and a whole mess of others that I am looking into making things from. I am loving this! This week has also been the creation of pickled peppers as well as dried. I feel like I truly am a renaissance woman and would very happily love to have a garden, some herbs, and a sweet country house. But I do like my coast houses too. Maybe one of each if I'm good? :)

I also am happy to have the time to start writing again. It has been too long since I have been able to focus on my fiction and nonfiction. I like to devote all my time to it rather than dabbling here and there with it, which is why I think I have been out of it for so long--too much going on in the way of ed-u-ca-tion. However, this degree is something I am very proud to have and also a great help in making my writing better than before. I am very much hoping that my time in Poland this coming year will be the start of more writing. I feel like a children's book. What say you? 

Goodnight my dears.

Psalm 27:14

 "Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord"

Poznan

I think I can finally stop holding my breath! God is so good--It's official! I got the au pairing job overseas! Dear readers meet Poznan, Poland, my new home come the new year. This is sooo cool :)

I love the beautiful colours.

Patient endurance

"So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised." Hebrews 10:35-36

So here I am down to the wire. In just a few short days I will know the answer of whether I got my first choice au pairing job overseas! Also, this week has really been an eye opener to me in not only future prospects but also in relationships. I've also learned alot about myself and my past self too. Lots of good things from all that God has revealed. Here's a few:

 -  My relationship with God is foremost what sets me apart from those who don't know Him. Likewise, this special bond has made me closer and more aware of how to be in a relationship. I am constantly learning what love is and how it grows and develops. It's really a wonderful thing to experience. The real and true love that's worth fighting for.

-  I've also learned alot about job hunting in the past 3 or so months. I've come to understand that it's not as easy as it looks. People don't always snatch you up and employ you first thing after university. It's also taught me humility in being so sure of my future plans. Ultimately I can dream and wish about what would be nice to have, but God is who works up my own special plan. I have come to be patient, to not be so negative when nothing comes up, and to take this as an experience in endurance and faith. Somewhere somehow there is a real-life job out there waiting. When it comes I'll be ready.

-  Au pairing will definitely be a life changing experience and I am so glad I registered! I know I have stated before at how blown away I am at all the offers I have gotten (and continue to get). This really was a big thing that God has shown me in the past few months as if He was trying to get me pushed in the right direction to be steady on my potential journey in the job sector, especially in something related to the English language. He knows best--always.

-  Patience truly is a virtue and in the past few years I have come to experience how to be patient in so many ways. I've also become more and more of a true believer of what faith is and how it works. No one can teach you this until you actually experience how to acquire, believe, and understand what it means. How God has molded me is part of finding faith and understanding how to have faith in what you can not know or see, and that if you really want something faith makes believing what God wants for you so much easier to come to believe and want yourself. Such an amazing thing and I really really am grateful for this experience.

This being said, I will finally know what is to come of the decision about the au pairing family--the one I am really hoping I get. I am to have a short chat with them this weekend when they will tell me whether I got the job or not. I am so excited! It's so close, and I really feel confident that they will say yes. After all this time of correspondence back and forth and an interview with my parents the answer is finally close at hand. Two more days. :)

Make me an instrument... a pleasing thing for you

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

The past week has been as I hoped it would be since my last entry. I have several decisions that I am currently trying to process, and a whole lot of excitement and uncertainty as to what they hold. Despite that God has always been constant and the only thing to hold onto. Faith. This past week I've done a ton of prayer, and allot of thought. But most of all I am pleased that new things are on the horizon and that I have a way to explore new paths in my life and progress toward newer and better things.

Since my last entry I have had more positive feelings towards the au pairing offer. This is largely due to several things that have come to my attention concerning the whole ordeal.

1. The large response I have received to au pair in such a short amount of time.  I am blown away at this and yet realize it is God's way of telling me that teaching English is something I not only want to do, but was also meant to do. 
2. The overwhelming response from families overseas. (One a very frequent few have been from my own country!) I really think this is God speaking to me, because I remember thinking when I came back from Study Abroad 3 years ago that I really felt connected to being and living over there. I began to think of it as home, and it was for a short period of time. In other words, I felt my calling was to countries other than my own. I thank God for that opportunity. 
3. The opportunity to travel and experience new people.You can learn so much from other cultures and countries and I think it makes me wiser for actually being immersed in their life. It makes me understand them and the world more. 
4. Perhaps I can work toward establishing a place of my own by taking this tiny step at moving out of the home base. 

I consider these great things to be considered and that God is working to create an awesome story for me to live. I am also grateful that He has been speaking to me about my future. I am amazed at how beautiful His plan for me is and how He has continued to show me of how little I know and how much I have to learn.

You can say I have really been listening to what God wants in my life as an adult--how He wants me to be, act, and be an influential light to those around me. I also see it, as listed above, as a way to push myself toward moving out of the nest (something I long to do, as does every child at a certain age). However, I am also learning that this may be something tough to handle for my parents, and I think God has shown me what it will be like for my parents to have to go through with my leaving. I understand that seeing me, their firstborn, out on her own in the real world will be something new to them--something not only wonderful but also frightening. I feel so ready, and yet I want them to be ready to. This all resulted in a nice daddy/daughter chat with Dad, just the two of us. I tried to be careful how I put things, and to make him understand that I was ultimately trying to pursue the life that God is wanting me to lead. I think he understands but not without some sadness at seeing the inevitable knowledge of his daughter leaving the nest very soon. Maybe it is a learning experience for them too. I have to bring myself to remember to keep this in mind. Parents always want the best for their children and work at making and molding them into capable beings to stand on their own. I thank my parents for the hard work and love they put into my upbringing. It is exactly what has made me so strong and ready to pursue going out on my own, as well as my sense of calling.

Decision wise I have pretty much made up my mind that this is what I am supposed to do and that I can't pass up this opportunity. So my game plan for the next few weeks? While I am still waiting to hear about the first au pair offer (and have a very strong suspicion that I will get the job), I have decided to also go through with the second au pair family as well and am waiting for the weekend to officially break the news to them. I hope to hear news from the other family very soon. If all goes well with both families I will have a few months with the first, Christmas holiday break, and then off to the next family for about a year.

I have to tell you I feel so happy and excited! I am so ready to do something fresh and new, but above all I am humbled at being able to serve my Saviour and use my gifts for his glory. Just the thought is joyful. 

I pray that I will know more soon. Waiting is almost as bad as knowing!

Wake up call, numero what?

You may be wondering what the title of this particular entry is trying to say. It's related to my thought for today and this past weekend in that so many times we are given a wake up call on what path to take, what decision to go through with--it can be anything. However, I wonder how many times it dawns on us how many times the said wake up call was staring us right in the face. Maybe more times than we want to admit.

Thinking about all the au pair offers I have had in the past month (at least 6!) and my recent trip overseas has got me thinking. Hard. Ever feel that your calling is well, somewhere not where you are? Bam, that was it. Perhaps my calling is overseas, to places I never dreamed I would go to. I can remember telling my Dad that I really felt that I would land a job overseas. Nothing else seemed right when I came home from my study abroad trip nearly three years ago. So why did that thought float to the back of my mind recently? Even I wish I knew. God knows what is best. There must be a really good reason why all the job applications I have sent off have left me empty handed, a bit concerned and very discouraged. I want to do editing and publishing, but clearly I can't force a job that isn't there. So what did I do wrong? Is my resume not good enough? Did I not sufficiently write the awesome cover letter that I thought I did? Sometimes we just aren't meant for the things we really want. It's coming to terms with that that takes some getting used to. It's not to say that I may never get into editing or the publishing world--maybe it's to come later. That being said, I have been blessed with so many people all over the world who have never met me before, and want me to come stay with them and take care of their children and I get to make some money on the side. I gotta look this in the eye and ask 'Lord, is this what you have been trying to tell me all along? That my calling is teaching English?'

So that's just it. I knew when I worked at the Writing Center at university that working with non-native speakers was something special to me. I connected with them. I loved teaching them English on as basic and simplistic a level as I knew how, and even more ,it's what got me thinking of teaching English at all. I began to hink about working towards getting a TESL certificate in the near future. Thinking back on it how can I ignore that that very future may be now?

Roughly that is what my thought process has been like in the past few days. Maybe my calling is to go to another country than my own to share and teach a language that still so few know. I'm listening. I'll let you know what the Big Man upstairs has to say and soon.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

After a few wonderful months away from home, I am now back to the grind of all things 'normal'. I say this because sometimes I wish I could go back to adventurous and spontanteous sightseeing and being in Europe. Ah life. I have to say though I had a wonderful time; just as it should be and how I expected. I knew I would fall in love with England all over again, and miss the lavender that grew everywhere, and trips to the market and grocery store for amazing dinners and times spent in the kitchen, walks in the park with D, and waking up every morning so very glad to be where I was. Now I am home. Home, just home but somehow it doesn't feel like home anymore. Is that then 'normal'?

Since arriving home I have begun to think alot about being a grown up. I have a university degree now, I have a job (albeit not one I want to have), I still am in the process of finding my own place, and have some offers to au pair overseas. All good things going for me right? Right. But how do I know what is next? That's just the thing. I can't and don't know what I am to do next or where it is that God is going to place me. I think this past week I have come to understand that worrying about it only makes my stress level peak and that it doesn't make me listen any better or acknowledge that some things can't be planned. You just have to let them fall into place. I am telling myself that daily, and hopefully I can hear Him speaking to me of where I am to be. Waiting can be so hard sometimes, but I know that it leads to something more wonderful than I can ever dream up or plan myself. Pray for me, my friends.